Grow As We Go: Perfectionism and Singing
Let’s talk about perfectionism… do we really have to?! YES!
It comes up a lot in singing lessons — and not just from students. I’ve spent years being a wildly harsh critic of my own voice, and it’s something I’m still learning to soften. So no, I don’t think perfectionism is something you just “overcome.” But I do think we can learn to work with it, and be kinder to ourselves in the process.
That’s actually part of the reason I called my teaching practice Voice Venture. Because for me, singing isn’t about reaching some final polished product. It’s a journey — a venture — that changes with you. Your voice ebbs and flows with life: with stress, with sleep, with hormones, with joy, with grief. And that’s normal. There’s no one moment where you arrive and everything stays perfect forever (although perfectionists like me really wish there was!).
So if you find yourself picking apart every note, or holding back until you feel “good enough,” this one’s for you. Come join me — I’m working on it too.
Here are a few things I try to keep in mind, and gently remind my students too:
🎵 Your voice is never a ‘finished product’.
It’s a living, breathing part of you. It changes daily — and that’s okay. You’re allowed to sound different depending on your energy, your emotions, your body. There is no one “correct” version of your voice. Just the one you have today.
🎵 "Perfect" doesn’t move people — connection does.
Some of the most powerful performances I’ve ever heard were messy, a little wobbly, raw — but real. Chasing perfection often squeezes out all the colour and character. So instead of aiming for flawless, try aiming for truthful. For something that feels alive.
🎵 You don’t always see your own progress.
Perfectionism zooms in on the flaws, not the growth. But if you zoom out, you’ll start to notice things that are getting easier, or things you once found impossible that now feel doable. I often look back at old notes or recordings and realise how far I’ve come — even when it didn’t feel like progress at the time.
🎵 You can be ambitious and kind at the same time.
Being kind to yourself doesn’t mean you stop caring or improving. It just means you don’t have to suffer through it. You can want to grow and still celebrate what your voice can do now. That mindset shift can make the whole process so much more joyful.
So no — I don’t think we ever truly “fix” perfectionism. But we can learn to spot when it’s taking over. To choose curiosity over criticism. To let our singing be something we enjoy, not just something we evaluate.
That’s what Voice Venture is all about. Not a race to a perfect voice — but a journey with your real one. Wherever you’re at, you’re not alone.